What Should You Do Before Filing for Divorce in New Jersey?

Deciding to end a marriage is rarely a decision made overnight. Even when you feel certain that divorce is the right step, what you do before filing can affect your finances, your children, your property, and how smoothly the legal process moves forward.



In New Jersey, divorce may involve much more than formally ending the marriage. Couples may also need to address property and debt division, child custody and parenting time, child support, and alimony. New Jersey law authorizes courts to address support, custody, and equitable distribution as part of matrimonial proceedings.

Taking time to prepare can help you enter the divorce process with a clearer understanding of your circumstances and priorities.

1. Understand Your Current Financial Situation

One of the most important steps before filing for divorce is developing a complete picture of your household finances.

Start gathering information about:

• Income for both spouses
• Checking and savings accounts
• Retirement and investment accounts
• Mortgage balances
• Credit cards
• Personal loans
• Vehicle loans
• Business interests
• Real estate
• Insurance policies
• Significant personal property
• Monthly household expenses

You do not necessarily need to know exactly how everything will ultimately be divided. The goal at this stage is to understand what you own, what you owe, and how money currently moves through the household.

CG Song Law Firm's existing divorce guidance also emphasizes understanding finances early and gathering records concerning income, debts, and expenses.

2. Gather Important Financial Documents

Knowing that an account exists is different from having documentation showing its value and history.

Before filing, consider collecting copies of financial records you can lawfully access, such as:

• Recent tax returns
• Pay stubs
• Bank statements
• Credit card statements
• Mortgage documents
• Retirement account statements
• Investment records
• Loan documents
• Property deeds
• Insurance information
• Business financial records, when applicable

Keeping organized copies can make it easier to provide your attorney with an accurate financial picture.

It can also be particularly helpful if access to shared records later becomes more difficult.

3. Don't Make Major Financial Moves Without Legal Advice

Preparing financially does not mean you should immediately empty joint accounts, transfer property, hide money, run up credit cards, or make other drastic changes.

Those actions can create additional disputes during a divorce.

Instead, document your financial circumstances and speak with a New Jersey divorce attorney about what steps are appropriate before changing ownership, moving significant funds, selling assets, or making unusual purchases.

A decision that feels protective in the moment could complicate matters later.

4. Learn the Difference Between Marital and Separate Property

Property division is often one of the biggest concerns when divorce is approaching.

New Jersey follows the principle of equitable distribution. Under state law, property legally or beneficially acquired by either spouse during the marriage generally may be subject to equitable distribution. Certain property received through a gift, devise, or intestate succession is treated differently, subject to statutory exceptions.

Importantly, equitable does not automatically mean that every asset will simply be divided 50/50.

Before filing, identify property you:

• Owned before marriage
• Purchased during marriage
• Inherited
• Received as a gift
• Own jointly with your spouse
• Own individually
• Believe may have both marital and separate components

Avoid assuming that an account or asset belongs exclusively to one spouse simply because only one person's name appears on it.

5. Think About What Will Happen to the Family Home

For many couples, the home is both their largest asset and one of the most emotionally difficult issues to address.

Before filing, consider practical questions such as:

• Can either spouse afford the home independently?
• How much equity is in the property?
• Who is currently responsible for the mortgage?
• Would selling the home be realistic?
• Are children living in the home?
• Would one spouse want to buy out the other's interest?
• Where would each spouse live during the divorce?

You don't need to make a final decision before filing. However, understanding the financial realities can help you establish realistic goals.

6. Consider Your Children's Immediate Needs

When parents divorce, their children's routines do not simply stop while the legal process unfolds.

If you have children, think about their current:

• Living arrangements
• School schedule
• Childcare
• Medical needs
• Extracurricular activities
• Transportation
• Holiday routines
• Relationships with both parents

New Jersey custody decisions focus on children's welfare and best interests, and CG Song Law Firm represents parents in both child custody and visitation matters.

Keeping your children's stability at the center of your planning can also help you distinguish between disagreements with your spouse and issues that genuinely affect your children.

7. Avoid Creating Unnecessary Custody Conflict

Divorce can make communication between spouses extremely difficult, but actions taken before filing can later become relevant to a custody dispute.

Unless there is a legitimate safety concern or court order requiring otherwise, avoid using access to the children simply as leverage in disagreements with your spouse.

Likewise, be cautious about:

• Arguing in front of the children
• Asking children to choose sides
• Using children to carry messages
• Speaking negatively about the other parent to them
• Posting custody disputes online

If domestic violence, abuse, substance use, threats, or another genuine safety concern is involved, the appropriate course may be very different. Those circumstances should be discussed with an attorney promptly.

8. Think About the Parenting Arrangement You Want

Instead of approaching custody solely from the perspective of “winning,” start thinking about what arrangement could realistically work for your children.

Consider:

• Each parent's work schedule
• School locations
• Transportation
• Weekday routines
• Weekends
• Holidays and vacations
• Medical decisions
• Educational decisions
• Communication between parents
• Distance between households

CG Song Law Firm's custody practice includes disputes over custody and visitation and emphasizes finding arrangements that protect children's interests during difficult family transitions.

Having practical ideas before negotiations begin can be more productive than waiting until a dispute arises.

9. Understand That Child Support May Be Part of the Case

If you share children, child support may become another important issue during the divorce.

A child support order establishes financial responsibilities between parents, and CG Song Law Firm notes that support may sometimes be agreed upon by the parents while other situations require court involvement.

Before filing, gather information concerning children's regular expenses, including:

• Childcare
• Health insurance
• Medical expenses
• School-related costs
• Activities
• Other recurring needs

Having accurate information is more useful than attempting to predict the exact support amount on your own.

10. Consider Whether Alimony Could Be an Issue

Alimony is not automatically awarded in every New Jersey divorce.

State law recognizes several forms of alimony and requires courts to consider statutory factors when determining whether an award is appropriate. Those considerations include financial circumstances and contributions during the marriage, among other factors.

CG Song Law Firm also notes that alimony may depend on circumstances such as the length of the marriage, financial needs, and earning potential.

Before filing, consider questions such as:

• Is there a significant income difference between you and your spouse?
• Did either spouse leave the workforce to care for children?
• Did one spouse support the other's education or career?
• How long were you married?
• Can both spouses currently support themselves?

An attorney can help you understand how New Jersey law may apply to your particular circumstances.

11. Review Your Monthly Budget

Two households generally cost more to maintain than one.

Before filing, calculate what your individual monthly expenses could look like after separation.

Consider:

• Housing
• Utilities
• Food
• Transportation
• Insurance
• Childcare
• Healthcare
• Debt payments
• Children's expenses
• Other recurring obligations

This exercise isn't only about preparing for court. It can help you determine whether your post-separation plans are financially realistic.

12. Be Careful About Social Media

Divorce frustrations do not belong on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, or other public platforms.

Posts, photographs, messages, and comments can potentially become sources of conflict or evidence during family-law proceedings.

Avoid posting about:

• Your spouse
• Your children
• New relationships
• Financial disputes
• Property
• Custody disagreements
• Negotiations
• What you plan to do in court

Even posts unrelated to the divorce can sometimes be interpreted differently once a dispute develops.

A useful rule is simple: if you would not want a divorce attorney or judge seeing it, don't post it.

13. Don't Assume You and Your Spouse Have to Fight Over Everything

Divorce does not automatically require a prolonged courtroom battle.

CG Song Law Firm distinguishes between uncontested divorces, where spouses reach agreement on important issues, and contested divorces, where unresolved matters may ultimately require court intervention.

Potential issues that spouses may need to resolve include:

• Property division
• Debt
• Child custody
• Parenting time
• Child support
• Alimony

Even when you and your spouse disagree initially, negotiation or another form of dispute resolution may help narrow the issues.

At the same time, reaching an agreement simply to “get it over with” can have lasting financial and family consequences. Understand what you are agreeing to before making it final.

14. Consider Your Priorities Before Negotiations Begin

Not every issue has equal importance.

Before filing, identify what matters most to you. For example, your priorities might involve:

• Maintaining stability for your children
• Remaining in the family home
• Protecting a business
• Preserving retirement assets
• Establishing a workable parenting schedule
• Resolving the divorce efficiently
• Securing appropriate financial support

Separating your must-haves from issues where you can compromise can make negotiations more productive.

15. Speak With a New Jersey Divorce Attorney Before Filing

You don't have to wait until divorce papers have been filed to seek legal guidance.

An attorney can help you understand:

• What the divorce process may look like
• Which documents you should gather
• How property may be addressed
• Potential custody and parenting-time issues
• Child support
• Alimony
• Financial decisions to avoid
• Whether your circumstances require immediate action

Getting this information early can help you make deliberate decisions rather than reacting after a conflict occurs.

CG Song Law Firm handles divorce as part of its broader family-law practice and represents clients in matters involving custody, child support, alimony, domestic violence, and other family disputes.

Preparing for Divorce in Englewood Cliffs, New Jersey

There may never feel like a perfect time to begin a divorce. However, you can enter the process better prepared.

Understanding your finances, preserving important documents, considering your children's needs, developing realistic priorities, and obtaining legal guidance can help you make informed decisions about what comes next.

CG Song Law Firm assists individuals and families with divorce and other family-law matters in Englewood Cliffs and throughout New Jersey. The firm emphasizes personalized representation and offers a free 15-minute consultation for family-law concerns.

If you are considering divorce, speaking with an attorney before filing can help you understand your rights, responsibilities, and options as you prepare for the next chapter.